Forgot yourself?
When I first had kids, there were days I thought, “I don’t even know who I am anymore!”
Does that sound familiar?
When moms think about meeting the needs of their kids and their husbands and everyone else and forget to care for themselves, it can lead to regret, numbness, and contempt.
Knowing how much courage it takes to change, we wanted to give moms a day to taste something different. Daniela, a friend of mine, described what happened at the Fierce Flourishing conference, “In the previous years I was only thinking about my kids and my husband but not about me.”
Join me while I tell the story of that day and the impact it had on the lives of women like Daniela.
A day just for You
The next few months were a bluuuuuuuur!
The team kept working and working.
And working.
We translated Fierce Flourishing, a devotional book for moms.
We opened a Facebook page.
We invited moms from Tirana and all over the country.
We promoted the event on a Christian radio station.
National TV here we come
And we started to talk about this event on national TV.
I received the first invitation from Adroniki Kolka to go on News 24 to promote the MOPS conference. Since then she and I have become good friends.
Guess where she first heard about MOPS?
On our newly created Facebook page!
Then Stela Kotri called me up. Stela was a TV Show host at Ora News, whom I had met over coffee at an event that Edi Gogu, a friend of mine, had hosted.
Friends from Near and Far
I coordinated with people traveling to the conference from outside Albania. Cris Cardoso and Sherry Crandall had been a constant support. When I invited them, they said, “Yes,” they would be there.
Someone had recommended Carrie Ann Jones as a motivational speaker.
Carrie Ann and I had never met, but I called her up. “Could you come?” I asked. She has five kids and had many other things going on, but she said “Yes” too.
“I’m coming just for you!”
“You are going to be caring for everyone,” my good friend from Highland Park, Heather Silhavy, told me before she came. “I’m coming just for you!”
The week before the conference, I was up late at night and then rushing out early in the morning.
Each day Heather was standing there, eyes sparkling with the sweetest smile on her face. I’d feel the warmth of her hug and the smell of the hot cup of coffee she had ready for me.
“Have you eaten yet, dear?” she would ask me making sure I was taking care of myself as I dashed from meeting to meeting with one phone call after another.
Heather didn’t need anything from me—she just wanted to care for me.
During dinner with the out-of-town guests and MOPS leaders the night before the conference, Heather slipped money under the table just before we were about to pay.
Celebrating you
Finally, the day of the event arrived.
I almost always wake up after my husband Josh, but this day with any alarm clock, I woke up, took a shower, and was almost ready to leave before he was out of bed.
The team had decorated the Sheraton hotel like never before. Pink, white and purple colored streamers.
“Wow, I can’t believe it!” I told the women with me.
When Candice from the US walked in, she expressed the same sentiment in different words, “Bona, you are so badass!”
Women poured in from all over Albania. I saw old friends from my childhood. I saw women involved in MOPS groups. I met many women for the first time. The room filled up with 300 of us.
During the monologue “Special Hats” a former Albanian actress depicted in dramatic form the various “hats” moms wear–from cleaner to chef to server to chauffeur and on and on. We laughed together. And we cried together.
I could see that women felt seen and significant. The speakers, from Carrie Ann Jones to Ylli and Nikki Doci to Edi Gogu all helped cast a vision for how women could flourish with God at the center of their lives.
Music and Dance to Uplift and Inspire
As part of our flourishing that day, I invited a beautiful singer Marisa Ekonomi.
Marisa and I had never met before. I wanted women at the event to have their burdens lifted for a day and to celebrate. I couldn’t think of anyone better than Marisa. She agreed to come even though we couldn’t pay her anything close to what she would usually get for an event like this.
She sang—like an angel. And then, she led the way and got everyone out of their seats to dance!
For me, the day flew by like a wedding with greetings, pictures, and laughter. And just like at a wedding, there were so many people behind the scenes making things happen—Anila, Valmira, Blerta. At one point, Irena grabbed me by the hand so that I could go on stage when it was my turn.
“Today, I felt so loved.”
I remember meeting Linda from the Northern city of Shkoder who told me, “This is the first conference where it was 100% geared toward moms.”
I met one woman after another—some in business and education, finance, and stay-at-home moms.
They said things like “I care for everyone but it seems like no one cares for me. Today, I felt so loved” and “It seems like nobody notices what I do, but today I felt honored.”
What Attendees had to say: Sherri, Danjela & Aferdita
“For much of the Fierce Flourishing Conference I was an observer. An American standing in the midst of Albanian women. Through interpretation, our verbal language differences were dissolved into a heart language of shared mothering experiences. These ladies were so eager to share their stories and struggles with me. You could sense the freedom they felt in doing so and in turn, I felt freedom to share mine too. It was powerful. I will treasure my time in Albania forever.”
– Sherri Crandall, Denver, Colorado
“I remember being encouraged by the idea that God wants me to flourish as a woman. It was a long since I thought about ‘me’. In the previous years I was only thinking about my kids and my husband but not about me.”
– Danjela Serjani, Tirana, Albania
“… the theme of Mops was very encouraging, and the book that was translated … Fierce Flourishing.”
– Aferdita Alia, Dubuque, Iowa
Summing up the day for you
So there you have it, the story of a day just for moms, filled with laughter, tears, and dancing.
Women left feeling seen, heard, and loved, with a renewed sense of purpose and a vision for how they could flourish. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish, but rather essential for us to be able to care for those around us.
What about you?
When was the last time you took a day just for yourself?
Maybe it’s time to plan one and see what kind of impact it can have on your life.
I’m curious to see what you will discover when you take time for yourself. Whatever your experience may be, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
Share your thoughts and insights with me, and let’s continue this conversation together.